when i see my selfie on my dash
If an intruder ever comes to fucking murder you. You throw your mother fucking head back pull your arms in weird shapes and whip your head forward again and say the anti crist has awoken whilst smiling the biggest smile you have ever made. no smart person would ever fuck around with you if you did that.
STOP REBLOGGING THIS PLEASE ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFFFEEE
OH MY GOD THIS CARD
i want a late night adventure. i want someone to call me up and say, “i’m outside. let’s go do something!” i want to go out late at night in my pj’s and my hair all tied up. maybe drive around. go to a park and just swing on the swings. maybe sit in the grass and watch the stars or maybe go to a 24 hour food place and pig out. i just want a late night adventure with people i like to be around. no drama. nothing but good vibes and good company.
God I hate Instagram
You know sweatpants?
In Australia we call them trakky-dacks.
im starting to think you aussies are just fucking with us
we actually aren’t and that’s the horrendous part.
I can fit 20 grapes in my mouth
I can fit 50 ur a lil bitch come fight me
3:00 you and me. Bring your own grapes.